I have opinions about the differences between Memphis barbecue and Texas barbecue. Put me in the kitchen and you'll see how Southern I can be.

We're not in an information age anymore. We're in the information management age.

Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.

Bowling is all physics and energy distribution. It's F = ma. So it is actually one of the most science-y sports, because it literally is just a ball and a surface and objects to knock down.

When you hang around a lot of comedians long enough, you realize there's a certain gene, in every comedian. It's why we get hyper-analytical about things.

I do seem like the kind of guy who'd be obsessive about Rubik's Cubes.

No matter what tricks you use or what decisions you make, go easy on yourself as someone who's on a never-ending quest for improvement.

Steal moments of happiness if you have to, and then collect them until they are the dominant images in your psyche.

I almost think of nerd brains as rattlesnake venom; like, you can milk it. You can milk the pulpy venom out of the nerd brain and use it for good if you want to.

Humans cannot produce viable offspring with our closest animal cousin: the chimpanzee. We cannot impregnate a chimp. So you know what that means? No condoms.

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.

For in spite of language, in spite of intelligence and intuition and sympathy, one can never really communicate anything to anybody.

The Creator favors the man who LOVES over the man who HATES. If you teach hatred to your children, one day your child will have that hatred reflected back onto them and onto YOU.

Androgyny is not trying to manage the relationship between the opposites it is simply flowing between them.

Today, professional football is about profit and making money. But it's not about how much money you spend, it's about how wisely you spend it.

We called my dad MacGyver when I was a kid, and I learned a lot from him. He just enjoys problem solving in that way. I do, too, which is something I inherited.

I know I can feel bad, when I get in a bad mood, and the world can look so sad, only you make me feel good.

If a figure doesn't look back at you, you forget it.

Wrestling is an art form. I don't worry about those who don't get it; I worry about satisfying those who do.

You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.

The mistake of the West was to put the Sauds on the throne of Saudi Arabia and give them control of the world's oil fortune, which they then used to propagate Wahhabi Islam.