I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

The man in our society is the breadwinner; the woman has enough to do as the homemaker, wife and mother.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

May the beauty of the flowers remind us of the beauty of our loved one's spirit

So as near as I could tell the end of the world began roughly about the time that Billy Carver’s butt rang about halfway through the War of 1812.

When a man is on the road to power he buys everyone a drink. Once elected he tries to close the saloons.

Stop your ignorance! Seek for wisdom and give understanding a way!

The Ohio Legislature's passed a law to allow concealed weapons in day care centers, but interesting: this same Legislature, in its wisdom, doesn't allow concealed weapons in the statehouse.

I'd made these experimental films but I thought the major chore of a filmmaker was to relate to actors.

An extraordinarily precocious mind, a political free thinker, who towered above his political contemporaries in Germany.

In order to plan your future wisely, it is necessary that you understand and appreciate your past.

I could be such a wonderful wife to another wife's husband.

Who would I be, if other good souls did not make up for my shortcomings?