I have terrible taste in things: music, movies, TV shows. I love all the guilty pleasures: Bravo, Real Housewives.

Once a month, a woman turns from a beautiful flower into an angry hippopotamus.

When life gives you lemons, you exchange them at the store for something more edible.

Be the weirdest little weird in all Weird Town.

Young love is so ridiculous, as is middle-aged and old love. And it's also hilarious. When have you ever felt so vulnerable and wonderful and terrible at the same time?

I feel like I have no real solid plans like, "this is what I'm going to do and I will do it by 2017" or whatever.

I think hard-working people have more opportunities no matter what on YouTube, regardless of gender.

It's insanely difficult to ask an audience to go somewhere other than YouTube to watch videos.

I want to do whatever people allow me to do with great people and have a great time doing it.

I imagine 'Daily Grace' as, like, your awkward older sister who tries to give you advice.

There are no gatekeepers. So all the things we want people to cast us in, we can just make ourselves.

Isn’t that the greatest tragedy? When someone rejects us, no matter how they abuse our love, we hope against reason that somehow they will come back to us.

Hope is a beautiful lie and it requires talent to create it for others.

Air travelers, of course, are famous for their hubris. They carry on too many bags and use the restroom when the seat-belt sign is on.

I just picked up golf, it was good, give me a chance to play golf.

Outside of performing, (a comedian) is someone who is analyzing life, thinking about it and trying to be observing so much. In my opinion, it can make you feel on the outside looking in.

I don't believe in a conspiracy to hide the existence of extraterrestrial life.

Maybe they notice me wincing whenever I hear them say it, but I don't know: there are all sorts of reasons I could be wincing. Life is a wince-a-thon.

Life wears down the edges of the mind.

Fire is a good companion for the mind.

Building a better life for every child is a lot harder than becoming a world champion. Both goals take dedication and commitment.