I have this terrific make-up man. But he's expensive. I have to bring him in from Lourdes.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

While we mortals fumble through ambiguity, he never loses his harmony #MyExperiencewith498A

And I don't like to work. I only like working when I'm working.

The clubs are good fun-having a laugh, really having a good time.

As the saying goes, when you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

The one you confront in Yoga is yourself. All that is rigid and stiff in you, all that says 'No.

Every person has the choice between Good and Evil. Choose Good, and stand against those who would choose Evil.

Money is worth what it will help you to produce or buy and no more.

To Brian Ellis, you owe my family and this community and apology for a disgusting and despicable smear campaign.

How do you politely explain to someone that you had believed for years he was a moron as well as a Fool?

I'm really focusing now on how I can get to the next level as a batsman. How can I get even more competitive? How can I get even more consistent? How can I get better?