I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.

Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of "Yeah, we might have to reboot."

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

Real men don't use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer's opinion on how to put this together.

I'm a creative guy, artistically with graphics.

Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we're just the tallest people living here.

To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.

How do you know when an apology is true—when it means something, or can change something, or will last outside the moment?

You're just too poor to get rich.

[Stand-up] might be ballsy, but I'd rather not be an actor. Actors are tools.

One should always look to the end of everything, how it will finally come out. For the god has shown blessedness to many only to overturn them utterly in the end.

When people are serving, life is no longer meaningless.

It is always possible to argue against an interpretation, to confront interpretations, to arbitrate between them and to seek for an agreement, even if this agreement remains beyond our reach.

I was raised in an Orthodox Jewish household and I wouldn't say so much it's informed my views, but it's informed my interest, so I think as a child I was often very baffled by knowledge claims.

States of profound happiness, like all other forms of intoxication, are apt to befuddle the wits; intense enjoyment of the present always makes one forget the past.

Fear and its accompanying emotional reactions have become part of the public mindset. Such reactions, while often legitimate, are also being exploited with increasing frequency for political ends.

Right now, when you go and hit the light switch in your house, you're participating in a state-protected monopoly. You're being forced to accept dirty power from a single producer.