I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.

Tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon.

Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.

You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.

My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my shoe strings.

A premature death does not only rob one of the countless instances where one would have experienced pleasure, it also saves one from the innumerable instances where one would have experienced pain.

Peace will come With tranquility and splendor on the wheels of fire But will bring us no reward when her false idols fall.

Why does life need evidence of life?

Knowledge is not power unless it is used.

I am woman, hear me roar, in numbers too big to ignore, and I know too much to go back and pretend.

I had thought loving two people so much would straighten it.

My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience.

You know my wife, she's 6 ft 1 she can beat anyone up.

Life in a box is better than no life at all... I expect.

The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.