I have too much money invested in sweaters.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

To bring your dreams into reality, write down all details of your process from A-Z

You are free to choose, But you are not exempted from the consequences of your choices.

It's funny how often we celebrate by poisoning ourselves

There is no conclusive proof of Unidentified Flying Objects flying over India-China border.

If you will tell me why the fen appears impassable, I then will tell you why I think that I can cross it if I try.

To think Being itself explicitly requires disregarding Being to the extent that it is only grounded and interpreted in terms of beings and for beings as their ground, as in all metaphysics.

Riches are not from abundance of worldly goods, but from a contented mind.

I'm having a ball. I just walk in, make some funnies and walk out, no pressure.

I've never wavered, I've never been a squish.