I have two questions about Arnold Schwarzenegger. What does he know, and when will he know it?

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

It is almost always better to listen and understand than express opinions to annoy.

A woman should be mindful that the key to one man's heart does not necessarily fits into the lock of another.

So, so sorry. Really sorry. Master. Sir. Emperor of the world. God of the universe.

Havin to make all the rules, all the time, wasn’t never my idea of a party.

A positive mindset is probably the single most powerful elixir you can take for your health.

Only the children know what they are looking for. They waste their time over a rag doll and it becomes very important to them; and if anybody takes it away from them, they cry.

Many a man has been dined out of his religion, and his politics, and his manhood, almost.

I like to roller skate. I have been roller skating since I was eight.

I fear the future I wish for my children is at risk, so I'm taking action. Please join me.

I am not afraid if people think Matt LeBlanc in 'Episodes' is who I am - my friends and family know who I am.