I have very limited craftsmanship. And a lot of the stuff I make plays on that.

Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.

Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke.

I don't even drink Coke. It tastes like robot sweat.

I like to do things that are new, where I feel the sense of discovery.

I wanted to get paid to sharpen pencils originally just because I thought it would be fun.

I felt really conflicted about making money off stuff that's creatively satisfying.

The way you make money is to do something you don't like to do. And that's how you know you're a virtuous person.

Everyone has pencils in their house, no matter how hip and contemporary they are.

It would be amazing to tell my grandchildren, like, 'Yeah, I was paid to sharpen 1,000 pencils.'

The type of pop culture that is honestly very moving and powerful to me is [when artists] do their homework. They make it real.

Cats may have nine lives, but pigs . . . don't . . . give . . . up.

You say that I'm nobody, and you agree that nobody's perfect.Based on logic, I'm a perfect person according to your opinion.

There are no injuries that run so deep that one can't add insult to them and make them feel even worse.

Meanwhile, some people are dying of sad laughter at the absurdity of man, who kills so easily and so violently, and once a year sends out cards praying for "Peace on Earth."

Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I’m an agent of chaos, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair.

One of my favorite things about hanging out with the monsters is the healing. Straight humans seemed to get killed on me a lot. Monsters survived. Let's hear it for the monsters.

Either you believe in markets, or you believe in government.

For the uniqueness of man lies in his capacity for self-transcendence.

That's the worst of a war--you have to go on hearing about it so long.

You can get what you desire and in just the measure of that desire.