I have very nice cars. I never get to drive them, because I'm never home.

I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight.

There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn.

Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were?

I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.

Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run.

Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years.

With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don't have one for common sense?

When you go to Hawaii, it's all about "Aloha." It means hello, goodbye and I love you.

You live by the cake, you die by the cake.

I had to travel half way across the world to be called an American.

She leaves a tiny part of her heart everywhere she travels and memories from the place fill up the void in her heart and soul.

A woman knows by intuition, or instinct, what is best for herself.

Never despair. Never surrender.

My company believes in hiring people based on merit.

Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future.

It is possible there will be much less support for NATO because there is a lot of identification of the United States with NATO.

Do less; observe more; enjoy most.

If I had my way I'd make health catching instead of disease.

I'm Here All Weak might be the strangest comedy album I have ever heard. But I've listened twice, which is more than I listen to 90 percent of all comedy albums, so I think I love it?

Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand.