I have what doctors call a little bit of a weight problem.

In the land of the skunk the man with half a nose is king!

First off, I am 35 years old, I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river.

I'm just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants!

Basically, I only play one character; I just play him at different volumes.

Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug.

I want to live fast and die young.

I live in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER.

Once I thought that if I just had enough in the bank, if I had enough fame, that it would be all right. But I'm a human being like everyone else. I'm not exempt.

The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer.

Everybody laughs when fatty falls down.

Faith moves mountains, but only knowledge moves them to the right place...

Things worth telling - take time

Dozens of days, experiences, and encounters have set me on a path I never dreamed possible.

I write a lot too, so I would like to write or direct in the future if I can.

I'm grateful for a lot of things. One is not being a drunk wreck. Or losing all four limbs in some ridiculous East Village bus accident that I was so destined for.

Measures of sterilization should, in my opinion, be very definitely confined to persons who are mentally defective

If me and King Kong went into an alley, only one of us would come out. And it wouldn't be the monkey.

I kind of stopped buying vinyl because I'm always on the road and you can never listen to it.

Faith is the champion of Grace, and Love the nurse; but Humility is the beauty of Grace.

The secret to a really great friendship is just creating fun memories whenever you're with that person.