I haven't done a lot in London. I think comedy over there is how it was over here years ago. There's tons of it, and they're better paid.

I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also

I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires

I once sat next to Jim from Wild Kingdom on a flight from Atlanta. I find mentioning that opens a lot of doors.

People in New York love having roof parties.

I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport.

I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase

I'd rather send out a mass email then hang posters all over the place

My sister sometimes does a Todd Barry tribute act.

I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.

You come there and hang out and have a drink before the show and eat, so it's not that brutal. It's only $6.

A sense of peace came over me and I must have been smiling as I fell asleep.

I'm listening to my son right now.

You're pretty low maintenance, as women go.""I am, am I?" She sounded amused."Yeah. Like a cactus.

We need to discover the root causes of success rather than the root causes of failure.

You have to fight unhappiness like a dragon with fire and breathe.

I hope I've grown. We all should grow from year to year.

I know so many players who say they wouldnt entertain coaching, until they retire that is, and then they want to take their coaching badges. I suspect this might happen with David Beckham.

I was all ear, And took in strains that might create a soul Under the ribs of death.

In his 4 years in the White House, President Carter worked to make the Federal Government more competent and compassionate and more responsive to the American people.

Moms and daughters can negotiate over anything, and they can go on longer than it took to settle the Vietnam War.