I haven't seen anyone rely on the ground game this much since the battle of Verdun.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

And suddenly he thought, I'm the abnormal one now. Normalcy was a majority concept, the standard of many and not the standard of just one man.

A Photographer is limited to some types of Photography. An Artist is able to do any types of photography. It's just a matter of choice and feelings.

Vipassana meditation is not just seeing the things inside. It is also seeing the seer.

And from then on, I bathed in the Poem of the Sea, star-infused, and opalescent, devouring green azures

Liars seldom believe anyone else.

The Lord's way is not hard. Life is hard, not the gospel.

Pure Consciousness, which is the Heart, includes all, and nothing is outside or apart from it. That is the ultimate Truth.

Thank you for your input; I can tell you are struggling towards being interesting.

Leaders anticipate. Losers react

I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn't seem too preachy because you're also making people laugh, so it's really kind of a good tool for messaging.