I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

When we go out knowing whose interests we are representing, people cannot oppose us because it is pointless to fight God, who lives in us

..it's not how much you work, but how working so much makes you feel that counts. And how I felt was iserable.

And the great difference between man and monkey is in the larynx.

They don't think up questions like that on the basis of what might be true

Sure, this will probably end up being another in a long line of emotionally crippling misadventures...but let's try to have some fun along the way.

It is better to start over than to continue down a path that you know is wrong for your Soul.

Any time you can have your logo or your name on a shoe, growing up that's a dream come true.

The world of learning is so broad, and the human soul is so limited in power! We reach forth and strain every nerve, but we seize only a bit of the curtain that hides the infinite from us.

A lot of times [in the movie industry], women are relegated to playing the wife or girlfriend or daughter.

Sprite really does taste different everywhere! That's like a fact. Because of certain regulations, you can only put so many sugars.