I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

In our beautiful memoryWe were all handsomeWe could all singWe all had the heart Of the prettiest girl in townAnd we all hit .300

I think that those few words were my greatest mistake.

It seems that ambition makes most people wish to be loved rather than to love others.

Who doesn't want to be comfortable all day long?

As an actor, sometimes you feel a pressure to change yourself from time to time.

Donald Trump doesn't believe in much, doesn't want to do much.

I cannot imagine a genuinely happy home without music in it.

Whether you agree or disagree with Barack Obama, he is getting some things done, though not in the way most Americans would prefer or what is actually best for them.

The fact that people actually want my autograph is crazy.

Once your kids are grown and you know that you're completely healthy, consider canceling your life insurance policy.