I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy.

Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates.

The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.

The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.

Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life.

I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.

Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?

If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.

I hope in the Lord, I know He will lead in every step of the journey.

Notice, by extension, that in a democracy those committed to non-procreation could never, in the long run, prevail politically against those committed to procreation.

I still break racquets, but now I do it in a positive way.

Perseverance is a great element of success.

Music I do just for me.

A lifetime of glory is worth a moment of pain. Louie thought: Let go.

Who knows where the talent goes? Sometimes it goes where the money is. Sometimes I think writers are really interested in the glory.

I did a lot of theater when I was in high school and college. I also did stand-up in college, so it was always part of what I did.

Those that regularly come into contact with people having diverse interests and viewpoints are more likely to come up with innovative ideas.

Dissecting a book was the same as making sense of life. You have to find a way to interpret life, or you'll go nuts.