I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Os ventos do destino são imutáveis.

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.

I'm pretty freelance. A freelance meditator. I float from one thing to the other.

Seek simplicity but distrust it.

The fans and supporters are also part of the Olympic family.

It is so easy for a woman to become what the man she loves believes her to be

When power ballads come back, we'll get big hair again.

And I also felt that no one in an audience could abuse me worse than the sort of abuse I had had at work as a psychiatric nurse.

We don't have anyone with bad haircuts, which is a good thing. Louis Delmas has some pretty nice dreads. He's a Florida boy, so they know how to do it. He gets the title.

From salad dressings all blessings flow.