I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.

to learn and not to do is really not to learn. To know and not to do is really not to know.

At home I serve the kind of food I know the story behind.

For me, it's a great joy to be together with priests: in the end, the bishop of Rome is the bishop and brother of all priests. His mandate is to confirm the brothers in the faith.

I want to take time to understand life. I want to travel. I want to be a better person, a better Mom. I want to do something good with my life.

You will be amazed at how much free time you have when you never have to think about money.

It's very difficult for me to speak about being an actor.

The best evidence of the Bible's being the word of God is to be found between its covers. It proves itself.

We only serve as a model for the portrait of our fame.

Vickie is so fat that her baby pictures were taken via satellite.

It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold!