I identify myself as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.

The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a much better guide than a 'More Like This' link on the internet.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.

I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.

Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.

I hate all sidekicks.

Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.

Her lips are like strawberries which tickels my taste buds everytime, making me to kiss her red lips everytime.

Money can add very much to one's ability to lead a constructive life, not only pleasant for oneself, but, hopefully, beneficial to others.

... but every person who does serious time with a keyboard is attempting to translate his version of the world into words so that he might be understood.

Friends aren't any more important than breath or blood to a high school senior.

The most important thing I have to say to you today is that hair matters. Pay attention to your hair, because everyone else will.

My love for you isn't just my affair, it's yours too. My love says something about you that maybe you yourself don't know.

I didnt quit movies. They quit me.

Who reports the works and ways of the clouds, those wondrous creations coming into being every day like freshly upheaved mountains?

The encouragement and the deepening of Eucharistic worship are proofs of the authentic renewal which the Council set itself as an aim and of which they are the central point.

[There is] an increasing tendency among modern men to imagine themselves ethical because they have delegated their vices to larger and larger groups.