I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Our heaven is their hell, said God. I like a balanced universe.

What if I don’t like adventure?Then cultivate a taste for it. Take a chance. That’s how you grow.

It is not great counts God blesses so much as likeness to Jesus.

Greed has no boundaries

We’re going to have good years again. Our bad years are not that bad. Take a school like Missouri. Our bad years are better than their good years. But we’ve created a standard.

I bet you're worried. I was worried. I was worried about vaginas. I was worried about what we think about vaginas, and even more worried that we don't think about them.

Pride, like humility, is destroyed by one's insistence that he possesses it.

Downloading songs is not good.

The past is over; the present is fleeting; we live in the future.

Bound by Love, But sworn to Kill.