I just look like a transvestite when I try to dress up. There's no place to hide my balls.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

It is better to tell the truth and face the punishment, than to lie and face the consequences.

Art is a revolt against fate. All art is a revolt against man's fate.

I have found people don't want to be told. That they can figure it out.

The more perfect we are, the more gentle and quiet we become toward the defects of other people.

Cruelty is more cruell, if we defer the pain.

I'm like a navigator and I try to encourage our collaboration and find the best way that will produce fruit. I like fruit. I like cherries, I like bananas.

If things happen it's because God has prepared me. God has great things for us. If it's God's will that I be there, there I will be.

She's wearing a tight red sweater and a red skirt and enough makeup to scare a hooker.

I go to all these photo shoots, and each time I figure out something new about myself and what I want to wear.

You can keep on chewing gum for ten hours, but after about a minute and a half you've got all the good out of it.