I just read about a schoolteacher who got hurt. She was grading papers on a curve!

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

If you just did what you wanted to do, and didn't care what anyone thought, you'd be Autistic.

Firmness of purpose is one of the most necessary sinews of character and one of the best instruments of success. Without it genius wastes its efforts in a maze of inconsistencies.

When People magazine called me, I did the job on Ansel. I'm older than Ansel and he has to mind me.

Maybe I'd be a storyboard artist. Graphic novel/comic book artist. Backup dancer. Singer. It would be cool to focus on one of these full time. But I like seeing them all intertwine.

Lack of prayer says you've brought into the lie that life is manageable and you've got everything under control

I like this job - most days I have a chance to make breakfast and take the kids to school or to read 'em a bedtime story. It's almost like a normal life.

Not being able to govern events, I govern myself.

Every novel is an equal collaboration between the writer and the reader and it is the only place in the world where two strangers can meet on terms of absolute intimacy.

In books we seek God; in prayer we find him. Prayer is the key which opens God's heart.

Taxes are what we pay for civilized society