I just recently had my Visa card stolen. Right now, it's everywhere I want to be.

The Heimlich maneuver works on house pets. My pit bull was choking on his dinner. I squeezed his stomach and the neighbor's cat shot right out.

I hate waking up every morning to my alarm. I always bang my head on the steering wheel.

I joined a health spa recently. They had a sign for "Free Weights." So I took a couple.

Remember that you are perfect and to start appreciating yourself for your amazing qualities.

We emphasize straightforwardness. You should be true to your feelings, and to your mind, expressing yourself without any reservations. This helps the listener to understand more easily.

Tell me all of the things that make you feel at ease

A man got up [after one of Huxley's 'sermons'] and said 'they had never heard anything like that in Norwich before'. Never 'did Science seem so vast and mere creeds so little'.

I've got my wife. I've got my four kids. I've got parents, grandparents still, and three really good friends. It's all you need. I'd rather have three really good friends than 20 good friends.

News is what a chap who doesn't care much about anything wants to read.

I've never taken a role where I don't like a person on the page.

There is no method by which an average citizen can effectively fight the White House in the media.

I don't pay too much attention to the positive reviews or the negative reviews because if you believe one, you've gotta believe the other.

I was never crippled until I lost hope.