I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story.

The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings.

A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.

There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows.

All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.

Remember that the most important thing is to try and love other people as much as they love you.

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.

Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.

A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the fit.

The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.

Worrying is arrogant because God knows what He's doing.

If you cannot solve it, it is not a problem - it is reality.

When somebody tells me I cannot do something, that's when I do it.

I think that even if you're wondering if two characters are ever going to kiss, drawing out the inevitability is part of the fun. Whatever the genre happens to be.

If you feel compelled to give a New Year's Eve party, don't invite people to arrive too early or they'll go off the boil before midnight.

When asked to give a speech never turn it down. It is a chance to develop you and to give new insight to others

To understand theory is not enough. Much practice is necessary.

Do I grow cleverer with age, or does the world grow more stupid?

I mean, I think we are a better team than last year offensively, but there is always a question with the Minnesota Twins. We'll just have to wait and see.