I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut - or get angry from the gut.

What's real? What's not? That's what I do in my act, test how other people deal with reality.

I see the world as an illusion, and we shouldn't take ourselves so seriously

As they say in my country, the only thing that separates us from the animals is mindless superstition and pointless ritual.

There's no way to describe what I do. It's just me.

I never told a joke in my life.

My mother sent me to psychiatrists since the age of four because she didnt think little boys should be sad. When my brother was born, I stared out the window for days. Can you imagine that?

When I perform, it's very personal. I'm sharing things I like, inviting the audience into my room.

The critics try to intellectualize my material. There's no satire involved. Satire is a concept that can only be understood by adults. My stuff is straight, for people of all ages.

Theres no drama like wrestling.

That was part of the whole original concept. We were thinking, it's off-season, let's do a really fun, local-oriented event, raise money for good causes and bring some music to the valley.

I've had to learn to fight all my life - got to learn to keep smiling. If you smile things will work out.

Inner beauty is for amateurs.

Great Modesty often hides great Merit.

I was asked by a golfer how to lower his scores. I replied start playing 9 holes instead of 18. I worked for me, it cut my scores in half.

The amount of time we spend with Jesus - meditating on His Word and His majesty, seeking His face - establishes our fruitfulness in the kingdom.

Body is not stiff, mind is stiff.

Truth was the only daughter of Time.

I eat to live, to serve, and also, if it so happens, to enjoy, but I do not eat for the sake of enjoyment.

Every communist has a fascist frown, every fascist a communist smile.

Why not Bill Gates for president? There are so many businesses' that empower charities. How many men give away all their money to charities? Why not them for President?