I just want silence... Jesus, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means right now, I like silence more.

The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain't spitting it out.

If it's not bourbon or sweatpants, it's going in the garbage.... No, don't get creative. Now is not a creative time. Now is a bourbon and sweatpants time.

On Furnishing One's Home - Pick your furniture like you pick a wife; it should make you feel comfortable and look nice, but not so nice that if someone walks past it they want to steal it.

Los Angeles is like San Diego's older, uglier sister that has herpes.

Writing a book is incredibly pleasurable, but very solitary. You have total control, but sometimes that can drive you insane.

Why would you throw a ball in someone's face?...Huh. That's a pretty good reason. Well, I can't do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good.

No, you can't go getting mad at people because they're shitty. Life will get mad at them, don't worry.

You go ahead. I'd rather not be shot out of a tube into a pool filled with a bunch of nine-year-olds' urine.

I was an angst-y journal writing kid.

You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else's house.

When my children complain that I'm forgetful, I remind them that DAD is just ADD spelled sideways.

I find that it is not the circumstances in which we are placed but the spirit in which we face them that constitutes our comfort.

When I cannot understand my Father's leading, And it seems to be but hard and cruel fate, Still I hear that gentle whisper ever pleading, God is working, God is faithful-Only wait.

I'm a big fan of Israel and frankly a strong prime minister is a strong Israel

Dictatorships sometimes fall unexpectedly and quickly. And [Vladimir] Putin knows that for him, the loss of power doesn't mean a comfortable retirement, but something completely different.

God save us always,' I said 'from the innocent and the good.

This is almost the most famous story The last samurai - Samurai story - in Japan.

I don't need protecting. I am not the girl you save. I am fine.

Egyptians believe in the power of the sunrise. They believe each morning begins not just a new day, but a new world.

Rambo isn't violent. I see Rambo as a philanthropist.