I keep my TV writing and my book writing almost wholly separate. The audiences feel so different.

Sunrises and sunsets are real jerks about putting things in perspective.

You don't have to be a genius when you're surrounded by morons.

It doesn't pay to be good at something unless you are the absolute best at it.

Insanity is just what we call stupidity when it doesn't make sense.

Gratitude can sometimes be as annoying as whininess.

I thought I was going to be a poet when I was in college, but then I found out I was poor so I decided to do something I'd get paid for.

The more you write, the faster you'll write, and the less you'll mind throwing stuff out.

Crime is for poor people. You don't need to rob the bank if you own it.

I can't focus on any one day, because I always have to be ready for the next. It's fun but frenetic - like living in a circus that never stops performing.

A lot of young writers are very precious about their words. Don't be - you've got to be ready to burn stuff. You're not as good as you think you are, at least not yet.

As is typical of this God [of Israel], he calls his people into freedom in the most unlikely place.

Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.

Necessity and desperation birth resourcefulness.

My dad was my best friend and greatest role model. He was an amazing dad, coach, mentor, soldier, husband and friend.

I’m honoured when Africa recognises me

Keep your sunny side up, keep yourself beautiful, and indulge yourself!

Most people spend most of their time on low-priority busywork because it requires no additional knowledge, skills, or imagination-or courage. In a word, it's easier.

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

'Adult Swim' on the Cartoon Network is unbelievable. And 'South Park' continues to do great stuff. And 'Family Guy' and the various other Seth MacFarlane projects are amazing.

He speaks truly who speaks the shade.