I kid Fox News, but they may be a little biased. We had an earthquake here on Monday, and they reported that 'the earth's crust was emboldened by Obama's weakness.'

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Even Azathoth is bored of this tune.

Walking out into the night with a water fey was all kinds of stupid. Heck, Kelpies eat people. They may not play with their food as creatively as the Each Uisge, but dead is dead.

Wonders and signs are miracles of God.

God could not be everywhere therefore he made mothers.

Beware of prejudice; light is good in whatsoever lamp it is burning; a rose is beautiful in whatever garden it may bloom.

Shy” was the sympathetic interpretation she got from older people. “Snotty” was the interpretation she got from people her own age.

Every profound spirit needs a mask: even more, around every profound spirit a mask is continually growing.

You cannot escape from your past! But you can understand it! And once you understand it, you don't have to escape from it any longer! Understanding liberates you!

Cancer is a demonic pregnancy.

Being an only child, I didn't have any other family but my mom and dad really, since the rest of my family lived quite far away from London.