I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

...early on Monday evening, when the sky was the color of a velvet ribbon falling over the hills.

It is very difficult to win. It's not in my script.

Life is best when you are in love.

My daughter recently reminded me not to get so busy making a living, I forget to make a life and I'm going to take that advice.

Personally, I'm not very keen on the visualization of absolutely everything.

I'm not Jesus Christ but I can turn water into Kool-Aid.

The devil is in the details, and everything we do in the military is a detail.

One of the many sad results of the Industrial Revolution was that we came to depend more than ever on the intellect, and to ignore the intuition with its symbolic thinking.

My problems aren't so different from anybody else.

Our bodies are exploited so much in the media, I feel like everyone is made to feel like they're not worthy or beautiful.