I knew that if I was going to write a book, I was going to have to read one, too.

A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I can't help it.

I'm not sure why I like cats so much. I mean, they're really cute obviously. They are both wild and domestic at the same time.

I like the comedians that go into detail and tell longer stories.

Love is such a confusing word. You think I'm joking but I'm not.

I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world.

In real life, comedians aren't funny.

I tend to a lot of improvisational ranting, and that's fun. For me, stand-up has been, performance-wise, a really good outlet.

I like doing all different types of comedy - stand-up, sketch, movies, TV. I like to try everything.

Cats are unpredictable because they're wild and domestic at the same time. Watching a cat's behavior is like a small window into the wild.

Maybe in 10 years,I'll only be doing "classical" comedy. Or crashing my car into trees.

We... we are basically good.""Haven't you been paying attention, Littlepip? Deep inside, we're all raiders.""No! That's not true.""No? Even the best of us fall to evil at the drop of a hat.

I love you.I'll love you forever.But I have to do this.

If I keep myself busy I don't know how lonely I am. I only know how busy I am.

I'm not from the States, so Thanksgiving, for me, was never a huge tradition.

If you find yourself talking to the police, my advice is to stay calm but look guilty; it's your safest bet.

Our family is a circle of strength and love...Our family with ever birth and every union the circle grows, our family is a circle of strength every crisis faced together makes the circle stronger.

My books have come many years apart and each one seems to reflect a period of experience. Ending the book is like putting a period on a certain movement. Interior and external - both.

No one can make you serve customers well. That's because great service is a choice.

I feel it now: there's a power in me to grasp and give shape to my world I know that nothing has ever been real without my beholding it. All becoming has need me.

Enthusiasm..the sustaining power of all great action