I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

Call it Irony or destiny of life, but the fact is I failed to make a living from what 'I loved doing the most' nor did I justify for what I was paid for!

Concentrate the mind on the present moment.

To review ones store is to mow twice.

It's strange how death mocks us, that only in death do we cherish [the ones we love].

Let individuals create real wealth, empower them, create something that they can leave for their children.

You can't be pregnant in leotards, and this is the last chance for us to get our bodies into the shape of concert dancers and capture it with the magic of film.

Please do not lose the ability to dream

I take my marching orders from the Constitution.

Science as such assuredly has no authority, for she can only say what is, not what is not.

In the last 15 to 20 years the best central midfielder that I have seen - the most complete - is SCHOLES