I know: "Guns Don't Kill People." But I suspect that they have something to do with it. If you point your finger at someone and say, "Bang, bang, you're dead," not much actually happens.

I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag.

On the whole, I prefer not to be lectured on patriotism by those who keep offshore maildrops in order to avoid paying their taxes.

What we have here, fellow citizens, is a crassly egocentric, raving twit.

It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong.

It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.

Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel -- it's vulgar.

If you ever get to the place where injustice doesn't bother you, you're dead.

One thing that corporations do not do is give out money out of the goodness of their hearts.

How the American right managed to convince itself that the programs to alleviate poverty are responsible for the consequences of poverty will someday be studied as a notorious mass illusion.

Whenever you hear a politician carry on about what a mess the schools are, be aware that you are looking at the culprit.

Know this: even if you’re like us and still doddering around above ground, someone out there from your past is probably pretty sure that you’re dead by now. (p.125 )

We put things in order - God does the rest. Lay an iron bar east and west it is not magnetized. Lay it north and south and it is.

Could Congress really do its work if it held its sessions by teleconferencing? Could the Supreme Court? Nothing can replace the spark of intelligence that travels from person to person at meetings.

I'm gonna still play some dates, but I'm not gonna do anything near like I did it before.

True optimism is not the prospect of control over pain or elimination of it but survival through it.

Enchancers are my pride, i do everything for them

Let go of the past and live the future . . . Live the life you imagined.

I have personally believed in every product I have ever advertised.

For to be desperate is to discover strength. / We die of comfort and by conflict live.

The Cul-de-Sac ( French for "dead end" ) ... is a situation where you work and work and work and nothing much changes