I know change can be painful. But from change comes growth.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Awareness (of the Self) prevails in matters where one becomes attachment-free (vitrag), and where one has attachment-abhorrence, there his awareness will not prevail.

Constantly seek knowledge and increase your knowledge base- that will take you to the next level.

No people who are ignorant can be truly free.

In love, writing is dangerous, not to mention pointless.

Look, there's no metaphysics on earth but chocolates.

There's a time when you have to explain to your children why they're born, and it's a marvelous thing if you know the reason by then.

How poor a guide enthusiasm is when it is not informed with the mind and spirit of God.

I think it's fun to have people see everything at once, and then I think certain shows are very well-suited to being on every week and being spread out over months.

Of course, after I retire I want to be the housewife, really.

I have too many ideas for a lifetime.