I know every politician spins the truth a little.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

SEE what you think.

I don’t know what you dream, when you are everyone’s dream.

What's the name of that famous museum in Paris? The Louvre? I went through that place in 20 minutes.

I mean, I think about it, but I don't design my record to get a certain public response.

The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is who you become.

When you have five little kids, you're not going to open Mindy Kaling's latest book. You're playing with your kids.

A troop surge in Baghdad would put more American troops at risk to address a problem that is not a military problem.

Knowledge cannot be changed, but the use to which it may be put can very easily be changed.

I've destroyed my feet completely but I don't care. What do you really need your feet for anyway.

I like doing business in a black city.