I know loads of coppers and dealt with them a lot when I was a journalist - coppers are easy to write for; they tend to run on rails.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

So many people of liberal persuasion value their own progressive opinions more than they value the people they hold those opinions about.

All the happiness of man stems from one thing only: that he is incapable of staying quietly in his room.

Originality is the key to being memorable.

You're different, you know.""Only different from you, " he said. "Not different from me.

Celebration is a confrontation, giving attention to the transcendent meaning of one's actions.

Nothing comes ahead of its time, and nothing ever happened that didn't need to happen.

I think many people can relate to that excruciating pain of love gone wrong. I'd rather have a broken arm than a broken heart.

Despite my extremely modest prices, dealers and art lovers are turning their backs on me. It is very depressing to see the lack of interest shown in an art object which has no market value.

When you reach an obstacle, turn it into an opportunity. You have the choice.

The most fun part about working out is being done - getting through the workout, let's be honest. But that feeling afterward? Yeah, that's worth it.