I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

As I contemplate a relationship with God, I find that I’m afraid to ride on the coattails of the infinite. But what I fear more than that is spending my life in the coat closet.

If you believe in yourself and work hard, your dreams will come

That's awesome. There's no bias in the media.

I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.

President [Barack] Obama has been an unbelievable divider of this country, whether it's rich and poor; white and black.

The huge majority of philosophers seem to think that including impure properties in the range of the quantifiers of the principle would make the principle trivial. I have argued that it does not.

Run a hand through your hair, like the white boys do, even though the only thing that runs easily through your hair is Africa.

Even speed, when we are anxious, seems like delay.

Don't swim against the current. Stay in the river, become the river; and the river is already going to the sea. This is the great teaching.

I feel so guilty when I see orcas performing their stupid tricks in their little swimming pools, and when I see circuses or elephant abuse. I don't want to be in the same industry with these people.