I know more about sports than I know about any other subject, unfortunately. I'm embarrassed to admit that.

A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I can't help it.

I'm not sure why I like cats so much. I mean, they're really cute obviously. They are both wild and domestic at the same time.

I like the comedians that go into detail and tell longer stories.

Love is such a confusing word. You think I'm joking but I'm not.

I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world.

In real life, comedians aren't funny.

I knew that if I was going to write a book, I was going to have to read one, too.

I tend to a lot of improvisational ranting, and that's fun. For me, stand-up has been, performance-wise, a really good outlet.

I like doing all different types of comedy - stand-up, sketch, movies, TV. I like to try everything.

Cats are unpredictable because they're wild and domestic at the same time. Watching a cat's behavior is like a small window into the wild.

Where are your clothes? And do not pretend you do not know. I can accept that you may not know if you killed a man, but every girl always knows where her clothes are.

The work on weekdays and the rest on the seventh day are correlated. The Sabbath is the inspirer, the other days the inspired.

I've learned after doing a couple records that if it feels good and it's easy, then that's usually a good sign. And that feeling sorta went with us to Nashville - everything was just natural.

If I'd just tried for them dinky singles I could've batted around .600.

Motivation aside, if people get better at these life skills, everyone benefits: The brain doesn't distinguish between being a more empathic manager and a more empathic father.

I was annoyed from the start by the attitude of doubt by the spectators that I would never really make the flight. This attitude made me more determined than ever to succeed.

We enter the world alone, we leave it alone.

When we do go to combat, it should be with a defined mission and a plan for withdrawal.

This is naturally the most important thing, the dark traces left by the era of totalitarianism in the human mind, where is - are difficult to do away with. And this is a very demanding job.

The journalists in America are no longer covering critical stories. Investigative journalism is gone. Foreign-news coverage is gone. The press is owned by five giant corporations.