I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.

Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.

Singing lessons are like body building for your larynx.

My deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and I have done nothing to earn it or deserve it.

Develop an 'attitude of gratitude.

FAUSTUS. [Stabbing his arm.] Lo, Mephistophilis, for love of thee, I cut mine arm, and with my proper blood Assure my soul to be great Lucifer's, Chief lord and regent of perpetual night!

I felt a kinship with country music, because country has lyrics that tell stories

The soul maintains it's deathly sleep and the heart bleeds from a thousand wounds

Often times I have hated in self-defense; if I were stronger I would not have used such a weapon.

To the pure all things are pure!

Time puts an end to speculation in opinions, and confirms the laws of nature.

If the reality is not ideal, resist and refuse the reality and change it no matter how strong it is!