I know not any crime so great that a man could contrive to commit as poisoning the sources of eternal truth.

Cucumber should be well sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.

Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.

When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

Classical quotation is the parole of literary men all over the world.

A man who uses a great many words to express his meaning is like a bad marksman who, instead of aiming a single stone at an object, takes up a handful and throws at it in hopes he may hit.

There are minds so impatient of inferiority that their gratitude is a species of revenge, and they return benefits, not because recompense is a pleasure, but because obligation is a pain.

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.

He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts.

And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow

The direction of life is from duality to unity.

The common foible of women who have been handsome is to forget that they are no longer so.

We can't retract the decisions we've made, we can only affect the decisions we're going to make from here.

I was big time into Barbie.

Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.

Things changed with the discovery of neutron stars and black holes - objects with gravitational fields so intense that dramatic space and time-warping effects occur.

The stories that you tell yourself can make or break you - no matter who you are.

I have a cousin called Flirta D who was big in the grime world, which made me really cool at school. 'Flirta D's your cousin?' 'Yeah, buddy.' 'He must be a millionaire!'