I know people who believe in ghosts but don't believe in themselves.

I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

The supreme hallmark of reality is balance.

Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.

Age is no barrier. It's a limitation you put on your mind.

So our future is in our own hands. What greater free will do we need?

I wasn't an active feminist in the '60s, never have been.

I would love to shoot on film, but you can't really shoot a lot of footage on film, and you can't print a lot of it.

Don't swim against the current. Stay in the river, become the river; and the river is already going to the sea. This is the great teaching.

Creativity is the depth of the honesty you express towards your possibility.

Winter dawn is the color of metal, The trees stiffen into place like burnt nerves.

Specifically for black women, our images and our bodies in the media and in history have been so hypersexualized.