I know that all over America there's probably politicians sending out pictures of themselves signing that mandatory helmet bill, but it's bullshit. I say that as a parent.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

This was long before the term 'single-parent family' came into use

If you have never been hurt by a word from God, it is probably that you have never heard God speak.

The superior man * * * in regard to his speech * * * is anxious that it should be sincere.

My life hasn't been static - I spent a lot of time in Europe, a lot of time in India. So I traveled around a lot, and I kept moving.

Indifference must be a crime in us, to be ranked but one degree below treachery; for deserting the commonwealth is next to betraying it.

Businesses want to offer solid, affordable health insurance to their employees, but it is getting harder to find every year.

If you think small, your world will be small. If you think big, your world will be big.

A day in Afghanistan is like a week at home.

Everyone feels loss and love and laughter. That's what connects humanity. It's why I love Shakespeare.

We must admit that it is quite common that people do have affairs with their leading ladies and men.