I know that sounds arrogant, but you can't not be special and have a 30-year career.

I don't have a tuxedo that fits anymore because my chest and my biceps are too big.

I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitching, a total fricking rock star from Mars...

Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh.

I've got magic. I've got poetry at my fingertips.

People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.

I still don't have all the answers. I'm more interested in what I can do next than what I did last.

The best way to not get your heart broken, is pretending you don't have one.

It's quite fitting that Slash is getting a star on the very street Axl Rose will one day be sleeping on.

I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math.

The most important thing that I learned in growing up is that forgiveness is something that, when you do it, you free yourself to move on.

Under the seams runs the pain.

Let's fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for "our life is what our thoughts make it."

The purpose of a college education is to question your father's values.

When I make a commitment I stick to it.

Every writer knows the terror of an unexpected success. How to carry on? How to repeat it?

I'm a wet liberal really, and always have been. But I'm sort of an aggressive wet liberal.

What does it matter how much we do if what we're doing isn't what matters most?

Indeed, history is nothing more than a tableau of crimes and misfortunes.

No party is as bad as its leaders.