I laugh all the time - at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don't laugh onstage because then it's serious business.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Promise yourself that you will not leave this world before accomplishing what is important to you and what matters for the world.

What is failure to a person who is not afraid to learn from it and try again?

I have to tell you the truth. But you are too ugly for it.

The greatest education in the world is watching the masters at work.

I love jazz and funk, because it's hard. If it's not hard, it's not worth doing.

Every time I listened to Lux Radio Theatre, I wanted to vomit.

The impatient man is his own enemy; he slams the door on his own progress.

I've admired Alicia Keys since before I got into the music industry, just everything she represents as a female artist.

You know what they say about bold spacemen never becoming old spacemen.

When I tried to branch out into comedy, I didn't do very well at it, so I went back to doing what I do naturally well, or what the audience expects from me - action pictures.