I laugh at weird times - at good and bad things alike. I laugh simply when things are incongruous. It's not necessarily a judgment - as it is noticing the oddity of something.

I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I were in a situation where I had to be, like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' - no problem.

If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.

A lot of people think that kids say the darnedest things. But so would you if you had no education. You'd just be like, I am bike cheese. Because you wouldn't know what words were.

What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.

What I think you should do is imagine people in their underwear but then also imagine them crying, and that - that is truly relaxing.

Marriage is when two people love each other so much that they promise that if they ever, ever stop they'll fill out tons of paperwork.

Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?

If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.

In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.

But without a need, even the finest piece of beef is merely a piece of dead bull is it not?

Prayer is primarily for loving and worshiping God. If you would seek first His kingdom and just fellowship with Him, you’d find your needs already provided.

The only people to whose opinions I listen now with any respect are people much younger than myself. They seem in front of me. Life has revealed to them her latest wonder.

Authenticity is what makes a relatable person believable. It is what makes the relatability sustainable. Anyone can fake relatability for a time, but authenticity is what makes it real.

After I went to college, I realized that no matter how much I loved sports, I was ready to have fun, and that was right when I started to sing.

If people can just love each other a little bit, they can be so happy.

Real investors should never feel bearish because the time to buy value is when markets go down!

Passion is essential for a meaningful existence. Life is about what you feel.

Those who have made unhappy marriages walk on stilts, while the happy ones are on a level with the crowd. No one sees 'em!

So is this how it works Doctor? You never interfere with the affairs of other peoples or planets, unless there are children crying?