I learned a long time ago in Hollywood that the only person I should vote for is myself.

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.

People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.

My whole career strategy has been to build a base so that I could take the roles I want to play. I'd hate to think that a shorter part might not be available because I was worried about my billing.

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time.

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.

The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.

Human beings are always going to find interesting ways of making a mess of their lives. It's human nature.

I don't think many people have a very good understanding of leisure and the importance it plays in our lives.

Men dominate because of physicality, and thus they have mercy where women do not.

We're all different. Some people are musicians, some people are actors, some people are agents and some people are accountants... We're all different.

Great thoughts are against all doctrines of conformity

Fire and people do in this agree,They both good servants, both ill masters be.

What's the point of trying to fix a world we're so briefly in?

Couldn't believe that out of 70K people, I was chosen.

Before you complain today, be grateful you have breath to complain with.

As I observe my daily life and that of others, I have come to the conclusion that genuine joy is a potent mixture of harsh reality, and the realization that life can be funny.

Don't let the clothes or anyone define you...just be yourself whether in a pair of jeans or a ball gown.

Waiting periods are only a step. Registration is only a step. The prohibition of private firearms is the goal.

People that are born beautiful like supermodels act like entitled a**holes. It makes you embarrassed just to see 'em. They handle beauty embarrassingly.