I left home because I was hungry.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.

Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.

Has every line inside of you been crossed? Is there anything left unviolated? Are you so comfortable with your imprisonment you feel free?

Everybody has a different Internet.

Ultimately when I throw myself behind a movie, I have to really believe in that directors vision.

I want to thank my fans for their support and love all these years, thank you Miami. Thank you Latin America. Thank you Mexico. Thank you world !

I certainly don't want to be an angry old artist.

As a rule people don't think other people on drugs are funny. They think they are tragic. They have a point, but I still had the funny.

I feel like rock stars feel a sense of entitlement, whereas I just feel a sense of good fortune.

I have a very tiny house in Burbank. I drive an 8-year-old car. I'm gonna drive it into the ground. I enjoy what I enjoy.

The test of all knowledge is experiment.

One set of messages of the society we live in is: Consume. Grow. Do what you want. Amuse yourselves.