I left this conversation hours ago, but somehow my mouth is still moving, words are still forming, and none have seemed to offend. Amazing, the mind. My mind, I mean. Not hers.

In a cement park across the street is this giant sculpture. It is a giant umbrella frame lying on its side. It's green. Stand under it, during a rainstorm, you'll still get wet - that's why it's art.

He loves to hide, but only if you take the time to find him. And while I suspect that's true for most people, only a retard or a kid would admit it.

Who's calling?""Don't insult me like that, " the voice says.I stop. Was I just insulting?

Wait a minute, I'm thinking, was this another one of those conversations where what is meant and what is being said are not the same thing?

Gilbert?"Some days I hate all those who know my name.

I never want to regret. 'Regret' is the ugliest word.

How can you kill a man who'd already been dead for years?

These eggs are broken. Cracked.""Yes, ma'am. That happens sometimes.""Does it?""Yes, it's the unfortunate part of being an egg.

The more Christian you are in this town, the more makeup you wear. I've always thought that it's because if you were to die suddenly, you'd look better for God.

I was seven when he hung himself, and I don't remember all that much, and anything I did remember, I've managed to forget.

I got put out of my church choir because my pastor said, 'We can't have baby sister singing the blues and coming in here and singing on Sunday morning.'

If I walked on water, my accusers would say it is because I can't swim.

Looking up into the night sky is looking into infinity — distance is incomprehensible and therefore meaningless

I have invented nothing. I have simply documented a magical alchemy that I want to share.

I'm getting out of acting.

Nobody can ever say that being negative ever helped them at all - not in any way.

There's nothing too interesting about me, I'm just a dude that draws, I know there's nothing special about me that people would be standing in awe in front of me.

If prisons, freight trains, swamps, and gators don't get ya to write songs, man, y'ain't got no business writin' songs.

Every divorce is the result of selfishness on the part of one or both parties to a marriage contract.

Of all rewards none [is] more liberal than those given to secret agents.