I let my mind wander and it didn't come back.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you’re really buying into someone else’s system of values, rules and rewards.

Anything is possible for she who believes. Believe you can and you're halfway there.”Jeanette Coron

All I knew was that in a way I couldn't explain, his hug matched his stare.

Life is a precious gift, but we realize this only when we are in the end. Change it.

Success is when you can differentiate between Today and Tomorrow.

I've done every diet there is.

Something to remember on your birthday..Forget the past, it can't be changed..And, forget the present because I didn't get you one.

A satirist is a man whose flesh creeps so at the ugly and the savage and the incongruous aspects of society that he has to express them as brutally and nakedly as possible in order to get relief.

I know I'll be under a spotlight, I know I'll be under the microscope.

I know I can get to the stage where I'm drinking a lot. I tend to be rotten and groggy all day and hanging out for the next drink and five o'clock, ping! I have to just stop.

It's supposed to be fun, the man says 'Play Ball' not 'Work Ball' you know.