I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

To reciprocate God’s love is to have his love nature

There is nothing to guarantee the superior judgment, knowledge, and integrity of an inspector or a bureaucrat-and the deadly consequences of entrusting him with arbitrary power are obvious.

Men hid behind religion to keep others from seeing how frightened they were, how inept.

Lesson from Pataki's success is: Use the political moment.

If all but myself were blind, I should want neither a fine house nor fine furniture.

In England, and all over Europe, and all over the world, actors act until they die. They get old, really old, and they're still working. They just keep doing it.

The powerful have no monopoly on greed, hatred, fear, or ignorance.

I love jazz music and sad music.

Hatred, in the course of time, kills the unhappy wretch who delights in nursing it in his bosom.

Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness. Listen to it carefully.