I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

You will achieve full success only if you will obey the Lord and do that which pleases Him

There are generally three kinds of people in the world. People who make things happen, people who watch things happen, and people who say, what in the heck happened.

.. we are not conscious of most things until we ask ourselves questions about them

When it comes to our foreign policy, you seem to want to import the foreign policies of the 1980s, just like the social policies of the 1950s and the economic policies of the 1920s.

The tests of life are not to break you but to make you.

The Spirit is the first power we practically experience, but the last power we come to understand.

To be like other people is to be unlike ourselves.

It's one of the great tragedies of our contemporary life in America, that families fall apart. Almost everybody has that in common.

Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.

I hope that the responsible figures in the Ukrainian leadership will not hinder soldiers in the Ukrainian army from putting down their weapons.